Doing things for myself

Over the past few months, I have been seeing a therapist on a regular basis, and was put on anxiety meds about a month ago. Up until that point, I was a borderline mess every day; some days I was a full-on mess. No motivation to do anything, crying silently at my desk at work, sobbing in the bathroom if I couldn't hold my shit together at my desk...the stress of life became more than I could handle.

Now, I'm much more focused and in a calmer, happier place. I realized over the past few weeks I need to start doing things for myself; I spent many months THINKING on what I wanted or needed to do for myself, but rarely acting on it. I was living my life for everyone else around me, AGAIN, and losing sight of what was necessary in order to heal myself and move on with life.

So a few weeks ago, I went out and bought a few cross stitch projects, since I hadn't done one in a few years and really enjoyed how it relaxed me. I had reconnected with that part of myself, and really enjoyed the feeling. That same week, I took the plunge and emailed my advisor at University of Phoenix Online about getting back into school. I had originally said I wanted to start after the new year, but then the selfish side of me kicked back in; NO! I was not putting this off any longer! A three-year hiatus was plenty long enough at this point, dammit!

Last week, everything was finalized and I am officially registered for classes beginning October 20th. Not only am I proud of myself for taking this step, but I'm excited to be going back. I truly enjoyed school previously, and love to learn.

I am just thankful that I am beginning to feel like myself again, for the first time in months. I have begun to come to terms with being 'alone', knowing that I'm not truly alone. I have the greatest family and the greatest friends around me; how can I be alone? I'm truly grateful for everyones' love, support, and care. :)