Time to move on

I am intentionally writing this now (Saturday, May 15th) but not posting it until later. For one, I don't want to jinx anything by posting too soon, and I have yet to talk to my family about this, though some friends already know (thank you, alcohol, for giving me diarrhea of the mouth).

As many of you know from previous blogs of mine, I have been wanting to move to Boston since...roundabouts September of last year? The past few weeks, I have been extending out my 'feelers' to coworker friends in the Boston office about open positions, trying to find a job. I have had little luck, but I have not given up just yet. I figured, once I found a job and knew a set date I could start, I could then look for housing. A few months back, I found out that one of my coworkers in Boston is leaving the company in August to move to California for law school. Yesterday, I was given the news that he is looking for someone to rent his room in his condo. He owns it and has a roommate, so instead of selling the place and forcing his roommate to move, he's going to rent. He told me as long as his roommate doesn't have someone lined up to take it, that he would gladly rent to me. I should know by this coming week what the outcome of that will be.

That would mean I could potentially be moving to Boston by the end of August. I have had a hard time keeping in my excitement, because I fell in love with the surrounding areas of Boston as well as the city itself, and find myself wanting to go back all the time. I will  be going back for the holiday weekend coming up - I  have saved money from each pay check and saved some of my bonus money to get a room in a NICE hotel in the city, and I'm looking forward to a weekend of pampering and fun. More so though, I'm looking forward to moving there, and have been praying that this opportunity was presented to me as part of my path I should be following. If this comes through, I then have 3 months to find a job there, and then I will be off to start fresh and move forward in my life. I have been feeling this desire for a change in location for too long, and I truly feel in my heart it is the right choice.

So far, the few people I have told have been very supportive, even though I know they will miss me. My one friend Greg, in his true honest fashion, gave me a stern look last night and said "Why? What is there that is drawing you to it?" and I told him I just love the city; it's the truth. His concerns did not go unnoticed, because I know what he was thinking about - Ernesto. All my close friends know what has transpired between me and him pretty much since day one, and I know he does not want to see me get hurt by Ernesto again. I appreciate that concern and care; my friend's opinions mean a lot to me, and I always take them into consideration when debating things in my life. Sometimes I can't see what's right in front of me, and they are always there to point that out. I know what has happened between me and Ernesto this past year, and it has been a wild and crazy ride. When I move there, I know I will still see him, as he is a very good friend to me, and I love him dearly. From there, I don't know where things will go - that is for God to decide. I know what my heart says and wants, but only time can tell any of that. And truly, anyone who is thinking I'm moving there for him - I'm not. Even when I was not speaking to him, I was planning my move to get there. I can't say he plays no role in all of this, but he has always been a smaller part - even when he & I were involved.

So now... I await the outcome on the living situation, and will most likely edit the end of this before posting with that outcome. I pray this is the right choice, because it feels right... and I will continue to pray on it daily.

EVENING UPDATE

Today has been one messed up day - not in a bad way, just crazy. Early this evening, I got a call regarding the place I could be moving to; turns out, his roommate has decided she is moving to New York at the end of June, leaving one room in Brian's condo open as of July 1st...he called me and said that he'd gladly rent it to me at any point after that date, and the sooner I could let him know the better. I told him I needed to get a job, that's the only thing keeping me back. This phone call came at the end of a family dinner. I knew then I needed to tell everyone then. So, I pulled Sky aside first and told him, because he deserved to know the full details first, and I wanted to be sure he was okay with it. I know he's not totally, but I think he will be. I then pulled my shit together and dropped the bomb on mom, dad, grandparents, sister, brother and in-laws. Everyone was a little shocked, and didn't say too much on it... Hell, I'm in shock over it all; I didn't think that things would fall into place so quickly; all I need is a job now... LOL. Most people find a job FIRST then find housing, but apparently I don't operate like most people. ;)

I'm glad I was able to tell everyone at once, and that it is something that I have been thinking and praying about long and hard, and not something frivolous and spontaneous. I am going to miss my family and friends terribly, but I need to do this for myself. The 'small town' life, albeit beautiful and relaxing here, it is stifling me emotionally and mentally. I'm ready for a change, and ready to keep growing. Even with all this, I will continue to pray that this is the right direction, and that if it is, God will continue to open the necessary doors.