A reflection of sorts

Wow.... today marks 30 years that I have been on this Earth. Of those 30 years, I really only remember about 25 or so, due to 1) being too young to remember anything before 4, and 2) smoking too much pot in my mid/late teens. However, I must say from what I can recall, it hasn't been too bad of a life.

Often times, when going through hardships, we only focus on those hardships and others from the past, feeling like life sucks and will never get better. When I look back on all the hardships and bad things I have dealt with, and add up all the days into a cohesive number, the number of good days FAR outweighs the bad. This equals a good life.

I have been blessed beyond words with great friends and family, and have been blessed with a good job. All in all, life is good.

A few months ago, I was in a bad place mentally; I'm still fighting my way back to through the current, but at least my head is back above water. What happened? I put on my God life vest, and He has kept me afloat. I know to some that may seem corny, but it's the truth. When I left my faith falter, things got out of hand and got harder to deal with. When I turned myself completely over to Him again, the waves calmed and I wasn't struggling anymore.

Where I was once terrified of being single, and feeling desperate for companionship, I'm not anymore - now, I'm just focusing on enjoying life. If that brings someone into my life, fine - if it doesn't, that's fine too. I don't need to be with someone to be happy. I may want someone to share things with, but that will happen on God's time - not mine - and I have little control over that.

So for now, I will continue to enjoy and celebrate who I am; a beautiful, independent, strong, flirtatious woman. 30 years, and God has designed a flawed masterpiece, and every year, He adds a little more on to it - flaws and all - and I love it. I love who I am, and I love who I am still becoming.

What will tomorrow bring? Aside from a hangover, I don't know - and I'm okay with that. It is liberating and exciting, though.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me another day and another year here, and for being in my life and in my heart even when I had turned away.

Thank you friends & family, for being the loves of my life and bringing me joy in all ways. I wouldn't be the person I am today without you, and that's the truth. Each person who has touched my life - good, bad or indifferent - has affected me permanently, and helped make me the strong, beautiful, independent, flirtatious woman I am today.

Here's to at least another 30 years!

Cheers! ♥

Darby