I am ready to move on with my life. I am ready to MOVE. Period. End of story. I want out; out of my house, out of PA, out of this life into a new one that is clawing at my insides, desperate to be FREE... and yet there is so much that must be done before this can happen, and it is frustrating me to no end.
I drew up a schedule today to get Sky & I back on track with working on the house and finalizing the divorce, and I pray that we keep to it! Wednesday starts it all... and hopefully we get some progress going again. If we stick to the plan, by mid-January we'll be done the first floor. Thankfully, not much is needed to be done on the second floor, so that should really only take us a bit into February. I want to be out from under all this before I turn 30; is that too much to ask??
I haven't discussed any of this with my family yet, but once all is said and done (i.e. house is sold or at least my name is off the mortgage), I want to move away. I haven't decided where yet, I just know it will most likely be out of PA. Wherever I end up, I want it to be near at least one person I know - so I have a friend. :) I have no problem making new friends, but really...I would like to have one bit of stability in the new life. If I want to stay with Iron Mountain, that really limits my choices, as I only have friends and family near a few of our district offices, and even then I would have to find something that i could actually DO there... or I could just start fresh at a whole new company - who knows? All I know is, right now, a few places have been calling me. Boston is the first (as I fell in love with it upon my first visit this year and every visit after) and northern California, where my cousin lives... because I've never been to the west coast, and a change of scenery that extreme might help. All I know is, when I think about the decision to move, it seems RIGHT to me, like that's what I should be doing next. Ugh...
To top off my frustrations... I had a wonderful conversation last week that helped answer a lot of questions I had, or at least I thought it did. Now, I'm left a little puzzled for the time being, because things are not as they seemed, or at least, I'm not sure things are as they seemed. I'm sorry for being cryptic here, but I honestly have had a hard time sorting it all out myself! So I am left waiting again for more answers... and my impatience gets the best of me every time.
What I want to know is, why can't people just say what they mean and mean what they say? Why do people pussy-foot around issues, say one thing but do another, and generally cause mass confusion to others?? (note, when I say 'people' here, I generally mean men).
Blah.
So I wait...
2 comments:
You're my second friend to say that they are moving away - out of state - as soon as they can!
PA isnt that bad! lol
But I get it - you need a new fresh start and if thats what you want and need then go for it!
Thanks, Heather... It's odd, because I have always been the one to say I could NEVER move so far away from home... now I just want away. It's nothing against my friends or family here - I'd come back as often as possible to hang out & visit. I just need CHANGE. When I think about finding a place to live around here, I get depressed; when I think about finding a place to live somewhere else, I get excited... gee, what's the better option? LOL...
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