But, as the pattern goes for me, I just can't bring myself to sleep. I'm tired, I'm sleepy even (which my sister is probably the ONLY person who gets the difference), but I'm just not READY for bed. I feel....ugh. So much I want to say, need to say, have to say - whatever - and the words are basically falling dead about 2/3 of the way from my brain to my fingers.
Seriously, I feel like (and probably LOOK like) one of the brainless zombies from Shaun of the Dead - BEFORE the zombie outbreak... ;) just shuffling through life, oblivious. HA! So not me on any given day, but that's how I FEEL right now... just drained. mentally shut down.
I need a vacation... somewhere 1) far away 2) warm 3) not alone.
Fat chance of that happening as a) I'm broke as a bad joke b) see 'a' and c) I am alone.
And I think that's the first time I've written that phrase 'I am alone' and it HASN'T affected me in some way. It's a good statement, actually. I am alone, in many ways, but I'm not in so many others. I tend to overlook that sometimes.
HAHAHAHAAHAAA... so randomly out of nowhere, I remember the song I wanted to post... wow, my brain has short circuited today something fierce. I should go to sleep soon... got a pie to make in the morning and friends to harass with Turkey Day phone calls & texts messages and such, because that's just the kinda gal I am... ;)
so here's your song. I lost this CD well over a year ago, and FINALLY found it while packing stuff up at the house. It's been in my car's CD player for the past 2 days now.
Fiona Apple - I Know (sorry, I have to link to it, because the jerk on youtube won't allow embedding... bastard.)
So be it, I'm your crowbar
If that's what I am so far
Until you get out of this mess
And I will pretend
That I don't know of your sins
Until you are ready to confess
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
And you can use my skin
To bury secrets in
And I will settle you down
And at my own suggestion,
I will ask no questions
While I do my thing in the background
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
Baby-I can't help you out, while she's still around
So for the time being, I'm being patient
And amidst this bitterness
If you'll just consider this-even if it don't make sense
All the time-give it time
And when the crowd becomes your burden
And you've early closed your curtains,
I'll wait by the backstage door
While you try to find the lines to speak your mind
And pry it open, hoping for an encore
And if it gets too late, for me to wait
For you to find you love me, and tell me so
It's ok, don't need to say it.
anyways... so there ya go....
ok, I think I need to go to sleep now. Good night, friends.
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